Communication is THE most important skill in any relationship. From everyday minor exchanges to the more pressing issues, strong communications skills will always save the day. Practice being clear with respect and kindness while speaking your truth. And DO speak your truth as much as possible. Create a safe heart space for each other to have a soft place to fall. Have each-others back, always. When there’s a disagreement, make sure to ‘fight fair’. Listen intently without thinking about an answer. Then answer carefully with respect and kindness. If things become heated, take a 10 minute break and try again.
Complacency is one of the fastest ways to ruin a great thing. All great relationships require constant positive attention. Have care for each other. The emotions, needs, desires and energy. Pay attention. Always. Listen to what’s not being said. Show gratitude frequently. Say please and thank you often.
Competition has no place a truly wonderful relationship. Often competition in relationship comes from a low self-esteem or fear and robs you of the true essence of each other. Co-operation leads to greater happiness time after time.
Chores are everyone’s responsibility. It doesn’t matter who does what as long as everyone is involved. Communicate what works for you and what doesn’t. A new bride often falls into the trap of doing too much in order to show her love. Later this will become a burden, and even a relationship ender. Don’t do it. Show your appreciation and love for each other by sharing all chores from the very beginning.
Intimacy is easy in the beginning. As life becomes more complicated with jobs, family obligations, stress, children, intimacy often takes a back seat with one or both of you feeling frustrated. Here again communication is key. Speak your truth. Acknowledge the needs of your partner and come up with creative solutions to get back to feeling happy.
Children aren’t a must in every marriage. Hopefully you have discussed at length about whether or not you’d like to have children before you’ve gotten to this point. If you choose not to have children, be clear with your partner and your other close relationships. There’s nothing worse than being pressured into having children when you had other plans. Contrary to that, if you really do want children, this is awesome too. Be prepared that they WILL change your life in every way conceivable. They take all your time, all your money, and all your energy. This is where a strong partnership in marriage will save you. Share ALL the child rearing chores. Balance out each other’s strong/weak points. Support each other. Always. It’s very handy if you know the developmental stages kids go through so you are better prepared as to what to expect. This helps to counterbalance how your traumas from your own childhood will come up. They always comes up. Everyone has childhood traumas.
Money is one of the biggest stresses in any relationship. Learn how to handle money as if it was another person in your marriage. Treat it with kindness, respect and honesty. Take money management courses. Planning together and checking in often will save much heartache later. Be sure to always discuss big purchases together. Save at least 10% consistently in a do not touch fund starting today. Then you will be guaranteed to retire stress free from the financial side. This world is set up to see you fail. It’s up to you to outsmart the system in order to succeed.
Friends first, friends last, friends always. It’s most important to be best friends with each other every day. Passion will fade, bodies change, health will come and go, but if you are friends first, last and always, you’ve got it made.
Here’s to your happiness, and love for one another. I wish you all the best forever.
With much love, always,
Grandma.
Global Grandma 
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